Chapter Fifteen | Introducing Intimacy

At precisely five minutes past eleven, Karou scurried through the unit's front door. Flustered, she'd run through the Compound to get home as quickly as possible. Clutching a hand to her heaving chest, she was relieved that the unit was in complete darkness, so she assumed Warren was already in bed. As she slipped off her shoes, the hair on the back of her neck and forearms stood on end. A figure blacker than the darkness appeared beside her and whispered right into her ear, "You're late."

"I know, I know. I'm sorry..." Karou's tone pleaded mercy. Warren lingered alarmingly close; the weight of his presence made her shrink into herself, and though her eyes sought his, she could barely pick out his face amidst the darkness. "He made me late just to piss you off."

"If he's willing to antagonise me, give me a reason why shouldn't I go teach him a lesson?" Warren snarled.

"What're you gonna do?" Karou asked, worried on Kenichi's behalf.

"Nothing… For tonight." Suddenly, the weight of his aura lifted; he'd backed off, and the TV lit up the lounge with the audio muted. Warren appeared calm despite how he'd sounded. He was lighting a cigarette, "So," he said and took a long drag, "how was it?" he asked with a disturbingly amicable smile.

"Uh, fine, I guess?" Karou shrugged, blinking into the bright, bluish light.

"Fine, you guess?" Warren mimicked mockingly. "See, I told you it'd be underwhelming."

Wrapping her arms around herself, Karou sighed, her voice a mousey mumble, "I didn't kiss him."

"Why not? Did he do something... unsavoury?" Before her eyes could focus on his face, Warren appeared in front of her again. He didn't try to disguise the fact he was sniffing her. Although he could smell Kenichi on her clothes, that wasn't evidence of foul play.

"No," Karou smirked, bemused; Warren's concern was as endearing as it was unusual. He grunted. Karou didn't know whether he was convinced, but her cheerful expression doused his fire. Cooled down, he moved away again, slunk down, and slouched on the couch. "He didn't do anything other than talk about himself a lot..."

"Doesn't everyone do that?" Warren's brow and nose twitched, sneering some. To a man with a very poor understanding of social nuances, someone talking about themselves wasn't odd. 

"You don't. You're a closed book."

"I'm not particularly interesting." Despite how many thrilling tales he had to tell about his life thus far, Warren truly believed that no one would care. Ironically, unlike Kenichi, the last person Warren wanted to talk about was himself, so he swiftly deflected. "So, was that really why you didn't kiss him?" Lent forward to the coffee table, he flicked the ash from the end of his cigarette. Though he watched the ash tower tumble, he didn't keep his eyes from Karou for long. The left side of his lip curled in a lopsided grin; it was his 'talk to me' smile that he didn't often use. It was rare for him to take an interest in someone else's personal life.

"I… Just… Didn't..."

"Maybe you didn't want it bad enough?" He reasoned.

"When it came to it, I just didn't feel like it."

"Figures. That's what you get for trying to force chemistry."

"I told you I was just sick of waiting." Karou didn't want to admit it, but she was pouting; her date had been underwhelming. Kenichi was just a friend. Karou couldn't help wondering if he'd only gone on a date with her in an attempt to upset Juniper. Either way, his affection was fake; his interest was all play-pretend, but what wound her up the most was that despite Warren's obvious faults, he was unapologetically himself. Still, the anger that was brewing inside her wasn't directed at anyone in particular—it was born from how pathetic she felt for wanting to take her life into her own hands, even in this small way, and failing.

"Won't be worth it if you force it. You're not even twenty ye—"

"Exactly! D'you know how lame I feel?" Karou snapped. After how unsuccessful her evening had been, the last thing she wanted was Warren patronising her with his impromptu speeches. "Look, I know you think I'm pathetic, and it kinda is, but things like this didn't matter to me before 'cause my main concern was not getting the crap beaten out of me on the daily. But now I'm here, and my life is sort of normal, the mundane things I haven't had the chance to do somehow matter."

"Surely your first kiss isn't such a big deal, though? Right?" Warren could see how passionately she felt about it but didn't seem to see that she had so many other things to focus on and be glad for. He figured she could afford some patience on the coming-of-age front.

"If it's not such a big deal, then why don't you do it like you insinuated you would? I'm not going to hold it against you." Karou bit back, only more fired up by how placid Warren remained.

"You're holding what I said against me." 

Maybe she was but he seemed to think it was OK for him to sit there and talk of forced chemistry, but didn't he realise what he did to her? All the anxiety, hot flushes, blushes, and butterflies? Hadn't he noticed them? Didn't he feel anything in return? "Am I so repulsive that it's too gross to consider?"

"That… that isn't what I think." He combed his hand back through his hair. The breadth of the situation was getting rather cavernous.

"I don't have my mom here to tell me I'm a scrawny, weird, ugly, bug-eyed freak. I escaped that. I made it here. But it turns out it doesn't even matter that they can't say it anymore because now I feel like a scrawny, weird, ugly, bug-eyed mortal."

"Oh boy. Where do I even start with that?" Warren questioned under his breath.

"Don't bother. I get it! Just forget it, okay? I'm going to bed."

"Karou, listen." She hadn't had much chance to escape where she'd sat and ranted at him when Warren grabbed hold of her arm, which got her attention. Honestly, he was tired of having to manhandle her so that she didn't constantly run away. Selfishly, Warren thought it would've been easier to keep a level head and maintain focus on the disagreement if he didn't have to touch her. "Look at me. You're hanging too much on this experience you're chasing. First kisses are awkward and often disappointing. It really doesn't matter how old you are when it happens."

"Please… Please just drop it. You've said you won't, so just stop now. Can't you see I'm… embarrassed?" She turned her face away, trying not to look at him.

"C'mon, you don't want to be kissed by someone over a hundred years old."

"You literally just said age doesn't matter."

"Well… I… guess I did, didn't I?" He asked rhetorically. Just when he needed a voice of reason to bolster his choice, his darker side whispered to him. You are just as curious. Just do it. It won't hurt her. "K—Karou, I just can't." He said despite his inner monologue.

"Okay." Something about the way he looked at her told her to admit defeat. Being rejected hurt and was embarrassing, especially when the person refusing you was so obviously out of your league. As if she could've shrunk further into herself, she looked to her feet, expecting him to let go so she could run to her room and lock herself away. The television screen turned black as credits rolled, and the room flickered into darkness. Using the lack of light to her advantage, Karou dared to steal one last look at him; he was still staring at her. "Warren, can I go to bed now?"

"Yes," He sighed, conquered. Karou's melancholy hollowed him.

"Warren... You've still got a hold of me." Just like that, he let her go, and Karou flitted across the unit and towards her bedroom without hesitation. 

"Goddamnit." He breathed, rubbing his face in exasperation; he snatched the scotch glass from the coffee table and downed what remained. He'd never meant to hurt her feelings, but how wounded she looked as she walked away told him he'd cut deep. I'm so damn sick and tired of overthinking everything! 

Another voice whispered just loud enough to influence his next move. Then stop… 

Full of conviction and fuelled by liquid courage, he marched after her. Karou hadn't heard Warren on his approach because he was Vampirically stealthy and barefoot. 

When he whispered her name, she naturally turned to look and searched the dark. Karou found his eyes barely a second before it happened. Warren set his lips on hers. The moment it began, her toes scrunched against the floorboards, and at her sides, her hands tightened into fists until it dawned on her: Warren wasn't pulling away. As quickly as the notion of what was happening occurred to her, she expected it to be over just as quickly. But stealing a kiss while taking her off guard might've left Karou unable to remember what it felt like and render the act pointless, so that was his reason for lingering. Despite the surrealism of the moment, Karou willed herself to relax into the experience and quickly decided it wasn't as underwhelming as Warren said it would be.

When it finally came to an end, after Warren had given her time to contemplate the texture of his lips, he opened his eyes to find her staring up at him through the darkness and presently didn't let go of her arms but met her gaze. They tested the water, so he asked, "Well?"

"It… wasn't underwhelming." 

Warren's voice held one of his rarer emotions: vulnerability when he asked, "Was it what you wanted?"

"I think so."

"You're lying." Neither knew how he came to that conclusion, but Karou knew he was right when the words left his lips. Somewhere about halfway through, she'd pined for more.

"I didn't mean to want more..." She muttered, feeling a pang of shame form a lump in her throat.

Before he could overthink the commitment, he ran his hands up her arms, over her shoulders to cup either side of her face. When their noses touched, but their lips hadn't met, Karou nervously commanded, "Wait."

"Changed your mind?"

"I don't know how to do this, so it'll be bad, right?" Her nervousness was palpable, but before any more doubt could consume her, he smirked and placed his lips back onto hers. Some moments in, Warren skilfully parted her lips to kiss her more deeply so that their tongues could meet and mingle. Here was where Karou felt truly out of her depth, but it didn't seem to matter to Warren; he carried on regardless. Warren was patient. He navigated through her fumbles and waited for her confidence to mount until she was ready to engage with him fully. How calmly he'd considered her inexperience and freed her of it made Karou feel at ease. 

When her lips began to move against his with purpose, the smallest, sweetest sound hummed from her. It was deeply satisfying that she felt satisfaction, too. Yet a worry sprang to mind; what if this wasn't enough for curious little Karou? That was dangerous territory but swept up in the moment, Warren could barely contemplate pulling away. No, he wouldn't, not until they were on the very edge of what naturally came next. Yes, until then, he'd continued indulging her, but that time came sooner than he'd hoped. His instinct told him, you need to stop now. 

Another voice answered and whined. Crushing her innocence tastes so sweet.

But still, you must stop.

Unwillingly, Warren made himself pull away, and it was then that he felt the tug on his t-shirt; Karou had hold of it.

See, I told you... If you hadn't stopped now, mistakes could've been made. Releasing her, Warren kept his eyes closed, waiting to feel her let go and hear her step away. But she didn't. Coming too was like surfacing from deep water, and Karou sucked in a deep breath and sighed it back out just as quickly. Enjoying what he'd given her was one thing, but what came next was the part she hadn't fully considered: how would he react in the wake of having introduced her to intimacy? 

"Karou, y—you should go to bed now."

An hour passed without sleep entering his head—his open eyes bored into the bedroom ceiling. When he'd finally given in to doing it, he'd done so under the illusion that it would feel as mundane as any other kiss he'd given or received, but it didn't feel remotely similar. He wasn't sure what to do with that knowledge. Afterall, she'd blindly trusted him not to take advantage of her. Drowning in the aftermath, he struggled to put words to how it had made him feel. Although he was trying not to hang too much on it, he couldn't get the delicate whimper of pleasure Karou had made out of his head. It rang through his ears over and over, and he didn't know why, but it made his chest ache. I could have kissed her all night...

Karou also lay awake in the other bedroom. She gnawed and felt over her lips where Warren had been. Re-imagining the way he tasted, what his tongue had felt like dancing with hers, how he smelled, and how his hands had possessively cupped her cheeks, steering her this way and that. It made her feel something she couldn't recall having felt before. It made her feel safe, wanted, and a little less broken. Although she tried to accept it as a one-off, she couldn't help mulling over: had he considered how she tasted? Had he enjoyed it, too? Would he ever do it again? Did he want to?