A Long Summer
Hayashi's quiet company soothed me. It was only when he touched me that I feared my body would betray me. Aware that he wasn't even an arm's length away, while I lay on a bed of blankets, staring at the ceiling, I was content. The time that passed could have been six or sixty minutes, but my steady breathing and the rise and fall of my chest seemed to slow time.
Lopping my head to one side, I looked at him and found that he wasn't sleeping yet. His aura was tranquil. Curled up, foetally, on his bedroll, his eye met mine as if he'd been waiting on them. A gentle smile dimpled the left side of his cheek, and he said, "Tell me about your wife."
I pondered his request. Eventually, coming to my conclusion. "I can't."
"Still too painful?" he asked. Nothing about his tone was judgmental, just compassionate.
My lips twitched, unsure if he'd hit the nail on the head. I wasn't sure who I hurt for and what kind of man it made me. I looked back at the ceiling, admitting, "Nothing's ever hurt so much. I don't know how I'm still alive when it feels like—" I choked, "my heart doesn't live in my body anymore. It's… not broken; it's just not there. I'm empty. An' I deserve to be. I just…never meant to hurt her." I sighed, wishing, in vain, that the lingering pain might leave with my breath now I'd given words to it. "Anything I tell you about Alis is a lie… 'cause, in my heart, she was never my wife."
"If you could take it back, would you?"
"No. Never. She gave me the best years of my life. She made me a father."
"I meant your break up."
"Oh. Right. Well, I don't know. I'd still be lying. Even though I loved her, I didn't love her how she deserved. Like a coward, I couldn't bear to be without her, so I carried on lying. I used to believe that what you don't know doesn't hurt you. That's just a lie liars silence their conscience with."
"Now she knows your truth; you can both heal."
"Ya reckon?" I hoped he was right. I wanted nothing more. "Can you tell me about your wife, the one in the photo?"
"Akari?" Hayashi smiled. "She was married to my brother, but he cast her aside when she couldn't bear children. She came to live at my parent's house; my mother insisted we take her in. I waited five long years for her, but once I completed my schooling, we married."
"Was she like you?"
"No. None of them were. My… parents adopted me. They found me at a mountain shrine when I was an infant."
"Why don't you look like the guy in the photograph anymore?"
"All earth-bound vessels die eventually. I've lived in two different bodies before this one."
"Whoa~ I wasn't expecting to find that out tonight."
That night, we talked until morning. It was just the beginning of a long summer getting to know one another. Hayashi might've been the quiet type, but in our private conversations, he'd tell me anything and everything. He had a knack for asking simple but wickedly invasive questions with the straightest of faces. Eventually, I got used to asking lots of questions, too. The little impish smile he'd give me when I asked something particularly deep was addictive. The more I asked, the more I knew, and the more convinced I became that my thoughts about him being a "good man" were absolutely accurate. Nothing I told him in return seemed to phase or deter him from me. Some of his questions challenged me; I can't lie. Due to his endless patience and compassion, our friendship grew into something I'd cherish for the rest of my life.
In July, the Compound's physician signed me off as fit for duty, so I returned to work at the South-East gate. Kenichi was glad to have me back; Apollo hadn't given him an easy ride in my absence.
Between our shifts, Hayashi and I spent our spare time sharing a round at the Brass Lantern to let off some steam, but more often than not, we'd turn to sparring at the gym rather than alcohol. Learning new techniques from a martial artist, added new strings to my bow as a guardsman, especially in close combat. He taught me things about honing my Lycanthropic strength that wasn't even known by my past Lupine tutors. The US military certainly hadn't touched on it. Because of all the ways he was improving me as a man, I was in awe of him as one.
Our meetings after work became a natural precursor to hometime, but our time together rarely ended there. Hayashi and Kenichi ate at Charm's Nest more nights than not, and on the others, I went to their place and shared their supper. Hayashi and I ate together every night.
Sometimes, he'd let me go back to the Charm's Nest only to come and wake me at 3:45 AM so that we could sneak out to the hot spring together.
