Falling

[Kage POV]

I'd lived many years, weathered many seasons, and basked in the sun of many summers, but this one was by far the most memorable in its radiance. This was the first I'd spent in the company of a wolf.

We were as far removed from one another as two men could be—both in age and kind, in temperament and esteem. I was not a demon whose soul was sworn to the Elohiemian Fallen, Lucifer; I was a creature born of a mountain God's mistress from a faraway Eastern country. I was only a demon in that I had not earned enough manner to ascend back from whence my energy was begotten. Although he was the descendant of a mutant race of Western Nephilim, the race to which he belonged now had a name in its own right, Lycan, and was still relatively young.

Our other differences were relative to our nurture, not our nature. My great longevity had granted me placidity and an understanding of the world that Nathaniel could not parallel in his youthful forty-two years—he likely never would. Just as my first love and tutor had guided me toward inner peace, I hoped to pay it forward and gift him some so he could foster his esteem—it had recently taken such a terrible battering, and the poor man was utterly lost.

My growing fondness for the wolf was not born of pity, though. I had had my eye on him for a good while before he fell to the prejudice of his pack. The only thing piteous was that such a kind and radiant man had been felled by such evil in the first place. It was his capacity to multiply whatever goodness he received that had first caught my attention. His 'goodness' was only compounded by the fact that he did not horde it; he donated it to all around him freely and unrestrictedly, desiring to keep nothing back for himself—a truly selfless person—and he did all this with the most beautiful smile. He exuded a warmth I admired, perhaps jealously, because I could not cultivate it within myself and not for lack of trying. I was just not destined to be that kind of man. My stoicism had me tainted by pessimism that I could not shake off. My glass was half empty, and his was half full. And that was exactly why his recent gloomy disposition did not suit him—not in the slightest. I was not nearly as selfless as he was, so I made it my mission to bring Nathaniel Scott back to the light so that I could befriend him and bask in his radiance from close quarters. In hindsight, my certainty that I could calmly maintain our friendship was hubris.

Paradoxically, the clumsier of us fell first, slowly and with the most grace. I watched him fall in love with me over a long summer and enjoyed the flattery. However, when I realised the shift in my feelings as Autumn neared, it was too late to save face. I fell the hardest…

***

Thunk. "Ouch!" The conker plummeted from one of the highest branches of the horse chestnut tree; its speed laboured only slightly due to its clumsy descent. It hit almost every branch in its path, rattling the wooden bones of its mother plant before colliding with my head.

"Oft, that conker must'a had it in for ya," Nate slurred, looking down at me with a lazy smile and hazy eyes, "it missed me an' went straight f'your head."

Rolling my eyes, I readjusted my grip on his waist and encouraged him along the path. We were on our way from The Brass Lantern; I was escorting him home because he'd consumed far too much of Alder Pitkin's elderberry wine during the De'en Charm's annual harvest festivities. Considering his size, the amount required to inebriate him was considerable, and he'd overdone it by a good measure.

"Walk, Nate," I requested.

"I am," he whined, and perhaps he was trying his best, but there was just too much of him for me to prop up, and we were still some way from the Charm's Nest. Despite knowing that my next move might bruise his ego, for my ease, I hoisted him into my arms.

Alarmed, he flailed about. "Goddess, no! Hayashi, put me down!"

"Be still!" I commanded effectively. Although he stopped writhing, still, he complained in a series of inaudible disgruntled mumbles. "If you hadn't drunk so much, you wouldn't be playing princess."

We crashed through the corrugated steel door of the alternative quarters; the clattering wave of noise the sheet metal made disturbed the peace of the whole place. Carrying him up the steel steps wasn't an easy task, and I had to yell at him to hold still and not lean backwards for fear he'd send us flying to the ground and flatten me to the concrete with back-breaking force. I questioned my logic when I set foot on the botanical walkway. The whole structure moved organically under our unsteady weight, and the vine teethers creaked as I staggered this way and that. Finally, I planted him onto his bedding pile with a huff. It wasn't that I hadn't the strength to lift him, but logistically, containing his body, so much larger than my own, while contending with an obstacle course was worthy of the title of 'workout'.

"It's time for bed, Nate," I panted, hunched over my knees to catch my breath. Out of it, the drunken wolf chattered nonsense at the mossy ceiling. "Listen! It's time for bed. Take your clothes off." I knew he'd heard me when his grin turned sultry. I'd refrained from teasing him since I'd revealed all in a test of his resolve at the Onsen, but how he bit his lip was so deliciously seductive. Blaming my immoral desires on the wine was an option, but it wasn't worth the risk that he might not forgive me—but he was the selfless, forgiving kind. Deliberating my options, I tarried longer in his room than needed. I could've easily left him to sleep off the wine and go home to my unit without laying a finger on him. I could have… but watching him fumble to unbutton the pearl snaps on his flannel was too much to bear.

"Tsk, Iet me help you," I offered, kneeling before him. In pulling the button columns apart, the pearl snaps unfastened in quick succession, allowing me a view of his burly, haired chest.

Quiet lingered. I stared at him, and he at me. The mossy insulated walls smothered us in our own heat. It clung to my neck, but it couldn't dissuade me from my desire to put my skin on his and bask in his Lycanthropic warmth; I'd heard rumours that wolves were living furnaces.

"I think about you touching me all the time," Nate muttered, breaking our silence.

So do I.

"I reckon it's 'cause I'm… lonely. No one's ever gonna touch me ever again.

That's not true…

"I-it's kinda scary t'think about… I've got such a lot longer t'live. I s'pose it'll get easier, though." My palm had found the centre of his chest without my notice. "Uh, Hayashi…" My fingers curled and uncurled, massaging his skin and combing through the course hair I'd craved to touch. Flustered and blushing all the way from where my hand soaked in the warmth of his core, Nate covered his face with his hands and whined. "Ngh, that's nice… Mmm, please don't tease me anymore."

"I don't think we can be friends."