Helping Hand

Kenichi held out the rucksack's straps so I could weave my arms through and then hoisted my ops bag over my shoulder.

"Are you sure this is everything?" He asked, looking into the empty locker in disbelief that I'd packed all my earthly possessions into a daysack, ops bag, and one ten-litre crate.

"Yeah, that's it." I knew it wasn't much, but there was no point making a fuss. I grabbed my crutch and hobbled toward the door. "Mind bringing the box?"

"You got it." Kenichi nodded and took one last look at the bunk room I was leaving behind.

The silence between us was awkward. It was hardly his fault, though; the poor kid probably didn't know what to say. I wouldn't have been rude enough to shut him up had he started talking about the obvious, but I didn't really want to talk about the state of affairs. My shuffling footsteps and the clank of the crutch every time it hit the floor with my weight propped into it were just reminders of how far I'd fallen. Any structure and security my life had had was gone. I wasn't worthy of the mentor status that Kenichi gave me. Especially not if you took the rumours spreading around the Compound about me as truth.

The corridor came to a T-junction. As Kenichi and I neared it, a floating swathe of black hair passed at speed. The blur became clearer, and the long strands settled into the shoulders of the person as their hurry halted.

Peering back around the corner, he muttered, "Ah, Gomen na'," having been caught off guard. Then he reaffirmed, "Sorry," in English and bobbed his head in a small, polite bow. "I'm late."

"Late for wh–"

"Oh, er, when you said you were moving out, I thought there'd be more stuff to pack up and haul." Kenichi scratched the back of his neck. "So I asked Senpai to help out..."

"Right. Well... this is all there is, so..." I forced a closed-lipped smile. "You know what? I can manage the crate, so you ca–"

Without a word, Hayashi relieved Kenichi of the crate he'd been carrying for me. The two had a short conversation, which I assumed was in Japanese, before Kenichi made an excuse and left, waving goodbye as he disappeared around the corner. "Good luck with the move, Nate."

The exchange happened so quickly that I stood there like a gawking bystander, bewildered by what had just happened. All I knew for sure was that I was alone with a man; I wasn't sure how to behave around now. He stood there quietly, maybe expecting me to make the first move. When my anxiety would only allow me to make an awkward, closed-lipped smile, he smiled back toothily with a warmth to his eyes that I'd never noticed before.

"You have your hair down today,"

His smile widened and plumped up his cheeks. "You like my hair down?"

Snatching my eyes away from him, I could feel my cheeks heat up. The urge to escape suddenly spurred me onward down the corridor, but I'd forgotten about my crutch in my haste. Against my forearm, his hand felt soft and warm when he caught me mid-stumble. He didn't say anything, no words of comfort, no joke to defuse my awkwardness; he just smiled reassuringly, his thumb slowly dragging down my skin before he took his hand from me completely.

On our way, I led him from the Guard Barracks and onto the woodland path. While going past the Tavern, I made a plan to go for a beer or three after unpacking my things. The trickling water of the brook and the background chorus of birdsong filled the silence, yet it was still starting to become stifling now that I'd gotten a hold of myself. I glanced over my shoulder every now and then as if to check that Hayashi was still there. I always found him looking around, at peace and unphased by our silent trek.

The damp earth turned to cobbles beneath our feet, and then we crossed the bridge toward the West Gate's delivery depot. I knew that was where he worked, so just as I was about to strike up a conversation, he cut me off and said,

"Kenichi never mentioned where you are moving to."

"Uh, the De'en Charm has offered me a bed at their nest..."

"Ah, the Fae girl. The one who found you."

"Yeah, the tiny pink-haired one... Juniper, I think's her name..." My head snapped in his direction. "Wait! How do you know that?"

"She told Kenichi where she found you first, then ran off to tell Apollo. Apollo and I carried you to the infirmary." He explained in a tranquil and deadpan fashion that I was starting to resent.

I had so many questions...

Why did Juniper tell Kenichi? Why was Hayashi always there to witness my worst moments? Why did he always look so unmoved? Couldn't he pity me just a little? Was he a sociopath, incapable of empathy? Why didn't he care? Why did I want him to care? Why didn't anyone care about me? What did I do to deserve this?